Pittering

Pittering away in silent dark
Among the loud calls from 
Crickets, ribbits, scratchy, squeaky bugs 
The call of July
The heat diffused by cover of the dark blanket of a new moon
The metro glow of ambient red upon the horizon
Bask in the glory streaking lights from flies blazing trails within the back yard
The glow bright in the shadows, dim in the house lights
Descriptive tongue through words typed paint the image of a night content with being night while attaining more than just putting the sun to bed 
Attaining the composition of singing bugs upon the rhythm of night
--the rhythm of a summer night
God bless Your work--everlasting, glorious, hallelujah work!

Dripping

     Dripping from my throbbing head
thoughts and memories fading beyond history
     into timelessness
          never happened
     happening
          never will
     Regret repeats drop upon drop
Drop
     Drop
          Drop
     Drip upon drop
          Drooping upon conscious below conscience
My limbs drooping
     fingertips, willow strands kissing the ground

What am I worth?
     Beans in the world
     Rich in Heaven
My hands offer only dust
     from tickling the earth, playing in the dirt

Love and hate of self of others
     Love the King yet act in self
          dripping
               dripping
                    intentions circle the drain
                    praying for a plug

Running

Running invites the thrust of youth.
Age pushes back with pain and pounding ferocity.

Yet heels will pound ferociously against the wind.
The breath of age, the breath of discouragement, the very breath of the Enemy--
damn that breath, that wind, those lies!

Run free in the power of the Spirit!
Though knee gives pain, gut upheaval, carry on to defy opposition.

Cannot catch the fleet feet,
but the goal is not to catch feet.
     Catch the breath of God, His Spirit driving, pulling, pushing, encouraging, disciplining!

Drive for Him, in Him and with Him.
     Run, run, run,
                               run free!

Dealing with Pain and Struggles

We are studying Luke 17:3-4 and the need to forgive those who have sinned against us--those who have caused us pain and struggle.

Luke reads:  "So watch yourselves.  If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.  If he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

This is a powerful section about Jesus' instructions for approaching sin in others and the power of forgiveness and repentance in our Christian relationships.  We all fall short of the glory of God, so we will find ourselves both on the repentance and forgiveness sides of our relationships; and Jesus is calling for us to set ourselves apart from they way the world handles pain and retribution.  "Don't get mad, get even," is a common ideology from the world.  Jesus is commanding us:  "Don't get mad, forgive; Don't get even, repent."

Jesus calls us to be holy--set apart from the world.  In studying this week's subject, I read through 1 Peter 1:15-16 as well:
"But as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written:  'Be holy because I am holy.'"

When I read "...for it is written..." I searched for the references from where 'it' was written.  I found the command in an Old Testament book that loves commands:  Leviticus.  God commands this multiple times in chapters 11 and 20, but chapter 20, verses 7-8 resonated most with my study and the scripture from 1 Peter.  The Holy Spirit directed my attention:

"Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the Lord your God.  Keep my decrees and follow them.  I am the Lord, who makes you holy."

In this brief scripture, God says much on the combination of faith, works, grace and forgiveness.

First, He commands us to be holy--set apart for Him.  If we are to be in communion with His Spirit, our spirits need to be set apart from the pursuits and logic of this world.

Secondly, He explains why.  He is the Lord our God, but He isn't our God if we are setting up idols and alternative thrones here on this earth.  The world preaches to place ourselves on the throne and seek to be served.  God commands that we serve and worship Him on His throne, recognizing Him as the giver of life and creator of all matter, anti-matter; seen and unseen.

Third, He explains the definition of a holy life.  A holy life is keeping God's decrees and following His ways.  We can try with all our might, but no man has proven to be able to follow all of God's commandments wholeheartedly with perfection.

So how can we follow His decrees?  How can we forgive those indebted to us?  How can we seek true repentance?

In verse 8, God states that He is the Lord, "who makes you holy."  God does the work!  Way back in Leviticus, God alludes to the power of the Gospel and His everlasting grace!  How cool is that?  Through the sacrifice of Jesus, our sin debt is paid.  Through His resurrection, He conquered death, which was our debt to sin.  Through our trust placed in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we repent and are baptized into Christ.  The Holy Spirit then indwells our spirit, resurrecting to life our formerly dead spirit!  God in us then goes to work, setting us apart, guiding us to forgiveness, to repentance and growing us in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  To Him be glory, now and forever!  AMEN!

Creation

     Create what is uncreative
set out for ordinary
     navigate normalcy
Stand out to be whacked
Back to the safety of mediocrity
     Passive language
     Describing being rather than action
Raze the foundation of safe
     uncreated creation
Raze perception of the uncreated
Demolish ordinary, annihilate passivity
     The uncreated created all
Breathed life into something from nothing
     Seek the uncreated for meaning, truth
beyond human mediocrity, exceeding language
     into space, time, passing through
safety of parameters
     into holes of everything but nothing
through dimensions emitting nothing
     Nothing but curiosity
Is being active
     producing an active being
or being, abiding
     action to behold
Behold the uncreated
     Creation holds You as nothing
Nothing from which came everything!

Word Play

Ex squared bee twelve
A two zeta alpha omega man
H two oh Henry
Carbon two oxygen
Bee six Be one
Two Einsteinium one isotope two
Three fours Five
Split, expolosimplosion
Hydrogen one fire, fire split the one
to two four, xenon phenom
Cardbon die H too Oh
     Oh no....what?

Grand

     I urge to something grand
grand papa funk skittle de bop
     Oder grand hole in the ground
or grand odor of heart
     Grand dreams
          Ahhhh
      the grand illusion of memory
foretelling of thought
     grand future beyond grand designs
THE GRAND DESIGN
     Grand despair of hope
          in the grand canyon of soul
Spirit-filled grand glory of hallelujah
     Grand glory of God
          within, around, surround
     Grand stereo of angels, of demons
          Grand self and desire
Grand mash of conviction beneath
     the finger upon the weight of the stars
           upon the sun, the planets, the world
               upon the grand hole in heart
seeking the grand fill
     the void, grand beneath the skull
Filled by Him Who lifts the soul, the spirit, the body
     the world, the stars, the atoms, the quarks
nothing more grand than the Grand
     of all, in all, be all, over all, all in all
Gloria grand gloria, glory of divine
     The Divine
          Grandest glory of human heart spirit mind

Dandelion Fountain

     Kids at play
Memory fades to misty spritz
     dozens of spickets pollinating summer
with water spray, laughter, smiles
     Frisbees passing through
     A dog lapping puddles of pollen
The dandelion fountain
     Magnet of youth
     Old, young, middle-aged
No matter the years
     Always a child in the dandelion rain

Summer's End

Summer comes to an end with the harvest revealed-
fruit, dried from the heat and drought.
Cool mornings intimate to soul and spirit,
hint at relief from the scorch of the summer sun.
The afternoons reveal the remaining intensity
of a star not ready to Fall.
The squeal of kids around the pool,
girls walking dogs, frisbees and nothing on TV--
all hearken for more lazy days.
Crisp nights, yellow buses, fees and commitments
hearken the fall.
Life is transition
  the fruit from this summer is dry
and bitter, yet helpful to cleanse spiritual bowels.

Sometimes, we cultivate sweet blueberries
to find a harvest of bitter herbs and thirsty tomatoes.

Without a harvest to nourish the heart, the Spirit must minister to the soul and sustain the spirit.
Rooted in faith, nourishment comes supernaturally despite the drought, despite the Fall--
in spite of the winter winds prepared ahead.

Spring will return.

Spring

The sun is deceptive.
The breeze brings the cool of mountain waters.
The grass becoming green again,
but clouds of dust sweep across the fields
grit in the teeth, dirt in the eyes,
chills that penetrate sweatshirts and jeans.

Ah, Spring!
Where is your sting?

With the bees still hiding in their combs,
the earth comes with penetrating stings,
reminding me of the wildness of creation,
the wildness of the wilderness.

A longing to pass through the wilderness
to the promises made by Spring.

The promise of summer warmth to come,
the fellowship of dirt with the sun
and rain, producing fruit from the seed of promise.

Does the seed have promise?
Will it become thorns or flowers?
Perhaps both, with pain below the outward beauty.

Perhaps the flowers will be unattractive
yet hold within sweet fruit to eat.
Perhaps still beautiful flowers await
with even more precious fruit to come.

Ah, Spring!
Even on a cold windy day, your promises
stir the spirit for more than what is now.

What is to come, that is for what is it
to ponder on a cold bench.  The promise of summer
in a true spring day is still of greater inspiration
than a false summer created by gas and walls.

Reading through Psalms

Psalm 131:1
O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty...

At first glance, this seems to read along the same lines as our sarcastic humor regarding humility.  We often joke that we are the most humble person in the room, or our humility is unsurpassed, or you need to be as humble as I.  This hit me in a different way this morning though, especially coming off Psalm 101, which was the preceding Psalm in my exercise of reading 5 Psalms a day, 30 chapters apart (today I read 11, 41, 71, 101 & 131.

Psalm 101:5
...No one who has a haughty look and an arrogant heart will I endure.

David understands the LORD does not want a proud king, a proud man--a proud heart.  David understands the penalty is separation from God--death; so he sought God's heart and not his own.  I think we can relate these Psalms to today's vernacular a bit better than the NASB in this case--don't take me for being proud of this, as that would negate this entire entry!

The rest of 131:1 in the NASB reads:  ...Nor do I involve myself in great matters, or in things too difficult for me.

I think this is the case of David, leading his family, the Israelites, on a life journey and getting lost in the land of Bathsheba, child-rearing issues and war.  The cliche' joke of men not wanting to ask for directions is a valid concern because men leading their families don't want to give any impression of stupidity, waywardness and insufficiency.  A man wants his family to trust in him, so he acts like he knows where he's going, refusing to seek direction from the lowly inhabitants of the land.

A man of God, though, says, "I ain't proud.  Let's stop for directions."

If you are a man and have stopped for directions, this has got to be the attitude of your heart whether you verbalize in true southern style or not.  The way I would translate 131:1& 3 in the language of the Southeastern United States is:  "God, I ain't proud...I'm counting on You to get me to my final destination."

David is not bragging about being humble; his statement of humility is one of admission of his position as a man compared with the position of God who created David along with the universe.  Many times, we won't have the answers to struggles in life, which direction we should go, why God set things up this way--but God has direction to give.  He asks that we model David's pursuit of God's heart and instead of trying to have it altogether, turning down whatever road looks best; He wants us to simply stop and say, "I ain't proud, LORD.  Direct my steps because you are my only hope of getting to my final destination."

Earlier, I mentioned that a man wants his family to trust him.  A man after God's heart, though, wants his family to trust Him--God.  Don't be too proud to stop and ask for directions.  Jesus humbled Himself to ridicule, spit, torture, and death by being nailed to a cross.  After going through that, He is not going to make fun of you, slap you around or give you faulty directions.  He wants you to get there (2 PET 3:9, 13); just stop, don't be proud and ask Him for your next step.

Bello Visione

From the Writer's Block language exercise...this is an actual language, or at least an attempt...see if you can guess the language...

Bello Visione
     Bello Visione
Creazione risplendere
     Le tue braccia
Doccia il mio cuore arido
     Io sono carne
Sei spirito
     Nei tuoi occhi
Io sono santo
     Spremere il mio cuore arido
Assagiore il frutto dello spirito
          BELLO VISIONE!

Italian to English:

     Beautiful vision!
Creation shines
     In your arms.
Shower my arid heart.
     I am flesh;
You are spirit.
     In your eyes,
I am holy.
     Squeeze my arid heart;
Taste the fruit of the Spirit;
          BEAUTIFUL VISION!

RECAP of the exercise:
Do you speak multiple tongues?  If so, write a short story or poem in a different language than your native tongue, depending upon your proficiency.  If you are not proficient in another language, pick some of your favorite things (nouns), some of your favorite actions (verbs), and a list of articles, pronouns and adverbs such as a, an, the, this, that, he, she, they,  quickly, slowly, happily, sadily.  Pick some of your favorite descriptive words (adjectives).

Now that you have your list, develop your own language. 
she = sen
quickly = buquerity
wrote = yada
a = e
new = uevo
tongue = tonga

Now write something active and interesting...hopefully better than this example:
Sen buquerity yada e uevo tonga.

Perhaps this sparks an interest in learning other languages, the history and development of different tongues and encourages renewed excitement over the play with words.  Tolkien developed complete languages for species such as the elves in the Lord of the Rings simply to inject a small portion of that tongue into his book.

Come neve d'estate e come la pioggia all mietitura, cosi l'onore non conviene allo stolto.
     Keep learning new things and build your writing so that it may be honorable!

NEW Creation

     New in Christ!
I knew nothing before
     compared to what I know
I don't know now;
     But new as the dew each day
I struggle to be new again,
     to be born over and over.
Yet who gives birth to self?
     Me!  Giving birth to the old
while He gives birth to newness of life,
     Newing my mind again.
I never knew before love and grace,
     But He knew me before I knew anything.
Now I die
     to self each day
          to be made new!
That new Christian smell--
     a fragrant offering to the Creator of all things new--
          Even this wretched flesh,
               All things new!

A Mile for Donuts

A Mile for Donuts

The only key-lime donut of which I’m aware resides 1.1 miles from my location.   I like them, but my metabolism is not what it was 25 years ago.  I made a plan of redemption for the caloric intake of the “heaven” that is key-lime donuts.  I walked to the donut shop instead of taking a combustible engine.  A 2.2 mile round trip by my calorie-meter burns approximately 4,200 calories (please don’t refer me to any scientifically based caloric computations.)

I hooked my head up to my iPod, set the playlist to worship tunes and stepped out the door.  The sun shone for the first time in days, a sign of blessing at first, but after about a tenth of a mile, I realized this was more than a blessing.  Combined with the humidity, the Sun provided me with a natural sauna to help me sweat off more weight to give me room for an extra donut!

I did work up a bit of perspiration traversing the sandy desert, littered with weeds in rolling water, kissing my toes before scurrying back from whence it came.  I hiked through a dune and across the road to my destination—Thomas Donut and Snacks.  I ordered a couple dozen to feed the hungry crew back at the house.

Twenty-four donuts does not seem like a heavy load—unless one were to eat all of them—but carrying them for more than 10 to 15 feet to and from the car can give one a real feeling of why one must walk 2 miles to attempt working one of them off.  I was listening to a David Crowder song when God seemed to be nudging me to sing along.  I know that I’m not supposed to be ashamed of Him, but I must confess, I was a bit hesitant to open up my lungs and bring forth praise to him while carrying a pink box of donuts on the side of the road.  What would people think? 

After joining in on the chorus and not being able to catch my breath for all the words, I realized I had more to worry about.  I knew what anyone listening would think:   “Who is that crazy guy over there, singing about Jesus, while about to keel over on the side of the road?”

Then I thought, hey, wouldn’t it be cool if Christians everywhere sang while oblivious to the world around them, so that everyone would see how unashamed we are of Jesus Christ!  Then I met people along the way who said, “Good morning!” 

Would it have been proper of me to return the greeting with an out of tune, half-breathed worship song without any background vocals?  I made a quick theological, Miss Manners, Christian, legalism, liberalism debate in my head and then replied:  “Good morning!”

Was I embarrassed by God or my own singing?  Was this a conviction or a legalistic notion in my head?  God answered me after letting me think about it through passing a few others and singing when I could catch my breath.

I was coming upon some neighbors in their driveway when Francesca Battistelli started singing.  Should I wave a good morning or sing along?  Should I say, “Good morning!”  Should I—oh, God, you are funny.  I don’t get the point yet, but I do get the joke.  Maybe that is the point—should I sing to them:  “When I was just a girl…thought I had it all figured out…”

I said, “Good morning,” without feeling any condemnation.  There is a point to realizing God has a sense of humor, but after getting back to the house, cooling off and enjoying a few bites of key lime heaven, I realized the whole morning experience as a complete piece.  I was carrying my burden on a hot day and God nudged me to give Him praise—to relieve my burden by focusing on Him.  I did not get worn out from holding a heavy box of donuts (I am not the man of envy at the gym.)  I did focus the rest of my journey on God and what He would want me to do.  But then I started becoming legalistic about what the Spirit nudged me to do, and God let me talk to Him about it a bit and then ultimately laid out a humorous illustration for me. 

It’s not about the burden.  It’s not about my self-righteousness or ability to keep to the rules of religion.  It’s about enjoying time with God, a walk with the Spirit, a key lime donut with Jesus.  It’s all about Him!

Ironically, in my reading of the Word today, which I chose to read after my walk and writing the body of this note:

Matthew 11:28-30  Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.  For My yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Eugene

Sometimes going back a couple of decades to review your old writing is a fun exercise...this is from 1994:


     One day, I drove by work and saw Eugene walking along the sidewalk.  I waved to him, and he waved back.
     Eugene is a bizarre employee of a Mexican restaurant in which I also work.  He immigrated from the former Soviet Union.  The exact parts are unknown because communication with Eugene is very limited.
     He speaks rather fluently the English language that cannot be aired on prime time television, but that's about it.  None of us at Chi Chi's could speak fluent Russian either, so conversations with Eugene got muddy.  Example:

     "Good job, Eugene," says the manager.
     "#@?!!* da @@#*!!" laughs Eugene.
  I am not trying to make fun of his language or failure to learn ours; I am merely attempting to prepare you for my story.
     I stopped at a stop sign, which is where the adventure began.
     Eugene came up to my window and uttered something like, "Me, uh da uh."
     After noticing my bewildered face, he again uttered the same thing with a few more grunts.
     Knowing I had to say something so I could be on my way, I said, "Sure, sounds good, Eugene."
     Eugene smiled, walked around to my passenger door and got in.  He was very polite, shaking my hand and grunting some kind of thankfulness to me.
     Realizing that I had inadvertently offered Eugene a ride, I started to drive.  I asked him for directions, and though my voice probably rendered all grunts to him, he picked up on my inquisitive tone and started pointing.  After cruising through a few hotel and gas station parking lots, we found Eugene's street.  We smiled and laughed, happy that we made it.  Eugene pointed to his house and I stopped to let him out.  We exchanged grunts and waved good-bye.  Then I drove along on my way to do whatever it was that I was supposed to get done.

ok...not a perfect piece of writing, but I'd forgotten all about this guy and the story I jotted down years ago helps me now to remember a goofy, but good memory.  If you are a writer, write no matter the outcome...getting your mind recorded on paper or flash drive us the outcome of matter--it matters!